Disclaimer: As a future Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) currently pursuing my master’s degree, I am passionate about sharing insights and information related to parenting, autism and homeschooling based on my personal experiences and research. However, the content shared on this blog is not intended to substitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Parenting is a deeply personal journey, and while I strive to provide valuable insights, every family and situation is unique. Readers are encouraged to consult with qualified professionals for personalized guidance tailored to their specific needs and circumstances.
Whether you’re managing pain, and fatigue like I am, or an autoimmune condition, or some other type of chronic illness entirely, finding balance and support is essential for both you and your family. Today, let’s chat about some of the strategies I’ve used for parenting with chronic illness, some (hopefully) practical tips and a bit more of my story to help you navigate parenthood with chronic illness.
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Living with chronic illness while parenting can feel like an uphill battle at times, but you’re not alone in facing these challenges. Many parents, like me!, are on the same mountain as you are. By prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and embracing flexibility, you can create a family environment that supports your well-being and the well-being of your children.
In the spirit of full-disclosure, these are things that have helped with my specific situation. I deal with chronic fatigue, pain and other daily symptoms from (suspected) hEDS, POTS, MCAS, (suspected) gastroparesis, and ADHD. Like many, I am in the middle of my chronic illness journey and learning along with all of you. These are just some strategies that have helped me and I hope something here resonates with you.
When you’re done with these tips, be sure to head over to my other chronic illness posts for even more strategies.
Parenting With Chronic Illness
Here are 10 strategies I’ve used for parenting with chronic illness:
Prioritize Self-Care
Parenting with chronic illness requires taking care of yourself first. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine, whether it’s getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, or practicing stress-relief techniques like meditation or gentle exercise. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so prioritize your own well-being to better care for your family.
This has been one of the biggest struggles for me, especially when prioritizing self-care seems to take away from time with Bug. I am definitely someone who will just give and give until I am completely depleted. I’ve had to learn that pouring from an empty cup will just keep you empty. Self-care has become a non-negotiable for me, because it helps me to be a better mom.
Communicate Openly with Your Children
Be honest and open with your children about your chronic illness in age-appropriate ways. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings, and reassure them that your condition is not their fault. By fostering open communication, you can help your children understand and cope with your illness while strengthening your family bonds.
I have spent weeks at a time in the hospital, so these conversations have happened since Bug was young. It has been important to me that she knows how I am feeling so that if my body necessitates change in some way, like a hospitalization, an unexpected doctor’s appointment or a change of plans, she isn’t blindsided. She knows I am in pain on high pain days. She knows I am struggling with my hearts on flare days. It’s important to me that she knows what to expect, as well as any of us can, with my sometimes unpredictable body.
Set Realistic Expectations
Accept that there will be good days and bad days, and give yourself permission to adjust your expectations accordingly. Set realistic goals and priorities for yourself and your family, and be flexible in adapting your plans as needed. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and delegate tasks when necessary.
Create a Support Network
Reach out to friends, family members, and support groups for emotional support and practical assistance. Building a strong support network can provide a lifeline during challenging times and offer valuable resources and insights for navigating your chronic illness journey. Don’t hesitate to lean on others for help when you need it.
Delegate Responsibilities
Delegate tasks and responsibilities to family members, friends, or hired help to lighten your load and reduce stress. Whether it’s meal preparation, household chores, or childcare duties, don’t be afraid to ask for help and share the burden of daily responsibilities. Remember, it takes a village to raise a family, and there’s strength in seeking support from others.
Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Cultivate a practice of mindfulness and gratitude to help you stay grounded and centered amidst the challenges of chronic illness. Take time each day to appreciate the small joys and blessings in your life, and practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to quiet the mind and soothe the spirit.
Pace Yourself
Learn to pace yourself and conserve your energy by prioritizing tasks and taking regular breaks throughout the day. Listen to your body’s signals and respect your limitations, avoiding overexertion and burnout whenever possible. Remember, it’s not about doing it all—it’s about doing what matters most with the resources you have.
Seek Professional Support
Don’t hesitate to seek professional support from healthcare providers, therapists, or counselors who specialize in chronic illness management. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, learn coping strategies, and develop resilience in the face of adversity. I have been in therapy for nearly a decade, and have seen so many benefits through the years, especially with dealing with my chronic illnesses. Reach out for professional support whenever you need it.
Practice Acceptance and Self-Compassion
Practice acceptance and self-compassion as you navigate the ups and downs of parenting with chronic illness. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the challenges you face without judgment or self-criticism. Embrace your strengths, celebrate your victories, and cultivate a mindset of resilience and self-love.
Celebrate Everyday Moments
Finally, remember to celebrate the everyday moments of joy, connection, and love with your family. Cherish the simple pleasures of spending time together, laughing, and making memories that will last a lifetime. Despite the challenges of chronic illness, there is beauty and grace to be found in the everyday moments of parenthood. Embrace them fully and treasure them always.
Parenting with chronic illness is no easy feat, but with patience, resilience, and a supportive community by your side, you can navigate the journey with grace and strength. Remember, you are not defined by your illness, but by the love and care you bring to your family each and every day.
